It hasn’t been easy. I had hoped that I made you better and you didn’t want to lose me. Even more, you made my life so big that I was certain I couldn’t live without you. Maybe that’s why I hung in there for so long, even as our friends told me over and over again to just walk away and stay away. I guess I needed to hear it from you.
But you wouldn’t say it. You kept calling me back in that love-you-but-not-really-but-yeah-I-kinda-do way you have that speaks to my inner dysfunction.
My god, the highest highs and lowest lows we shared! The memories. So many incredible memories. But you can’t live in memories. You live with them. You don’t leave them behind. I have to keep telling myself that.
Now I see that you’ve made some really big, life-altering new choices, choices I cautioned you against, even when you didn’t want to hear it. But you made them anyway. I guess that’s your prerogative. You used to care what I thought. And then I learned you and your new friends were talking smack about me. I guess that’s another sign.
I can’t help you this time. I know, I know, you don’t want my help. And this time I’m finally through trying. I certainly don’t wish you harm, but you have to find your own way. And I have to find mine.
So I guess this is it. Time to say good-bye. We’ll always love each other – well, I’ll always love you – but from a distance now. So, keep in touch… if you feel like it. Be safe. Be kind. Be smart. Be your beautiful, quirky self.
You were once my home, and I adored you. But I’m moving on.