My first gay wedding

Jody and I got married last Friday.

We were lifted up in joy by her parents, her twin sister and sister-in-law, and my three closest friends from the good ol’ days–ma familia–Andy, Jonathan, and Gary.

La Familia: Cody, Donna, Jody, Jonathan, Andy, Gary, Jim & Nancy

After a limo drive from midtown Manhattan to the New York City Clerk’s office, we navigated the completely unromantic environment of marriage bureaucracy, took a number à la Baskin Robbins, and waited our turn to enter the “Wedding Chapel,” a purple shellacked, not-so-hallowed hall that made us all laugh out loud.

Our ceremony was officiated by a goodfella straight out of New York Central Casting, a gentleman who genuinely loves his job (“IF anyone HERE knows of any LEEEGAL reason why THIS couple should NOOOOT be wed, speak NOOOW or forever HOOOOLD your peace”), closing out with a ringing, “I now pronounce you… MAAAAAARRIED!”

Wedding Garden, May 11, 2012

Pictures in the Wedding Garden across the street (“No, Alice, you can’t just lay your purse on the ground. This is New York!”) followed, then we limoed our way back to midtown and Bobby Flay’s Bar Americain for an afternoon of splendiferousness. There’s just no better word for it.

My friend Frank said, “It’s not like turning 18. You will feel different.”

Three days later, maybe he’s right. There is something extraordinary, and I must say humbling, about having friends and family surround and embrace you while celebrating your becoming a family–their family. I don’t care how sophisticated you are, it’s just not the same as moving in together and people saying, “Yeah, that’s cool.”

Three days from now, about seventy-five other people will descend upon us in Atlanta to participate in the Episcopal church blessing of our legal union–that’s how the Bishop described it to us, that the church will bless a union that is already legal. Again, that so many people will spend their time and money to come lift us up, to be our family, our net, to acknowledge us as they have one another… to have that occur on our behalf is somewhat discomfiting–in a good way. It’s new. It’s different. It’s unexpected. It’s a little bit uncomfortable. It’s that dream I didn’t dare dream come true.

This is what it means to be equal. I didn’t quite know what I was missing. I do know that it’s worth fighting for.

If you have the opportunity to vote for a candidate or local initiative that supports equality, this is the joy, the inner peace, that you can accomplish for all your gay friends and family. You and you alone have that power. I for one am infinitely grateful when you use your power for good. Thank you. ;c)

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  1. #1 by Courtney on May 14, 2012 - 11:28 am

    Yaaaaaaay! Love you, and am so happy for you guys!!

  2. #2 by Erin on May 14, 2012 - 11:31 am

    Many congratulations!

  3. #3 by Tanya on May 14, 2012 - 11:38 am

    Congrats and Mazeltov to you and Jody!! You both look so genuinely happy in the wedding photo, and I wholeheartedly agree: you DO feel different after becoming legally married! We got married in July 2009 in Connecticut, and it was the most REAL and concrete feeling of “being married” that I have ever known (having been married previously). It made us want to fight even harder for equality, for this same sense of belonging that our hetero counterparts have only been privileged enough to enjoy. SO happy for you both – you will appreciate your marriage, your wife, every day from now on. Blessings to you both!

  4. #4 by Bert on May 14, 2012 - 11:45 am

    Mazal tov! I am so happy for you and Jody.

  5. #5 by Lee on May 14, 2012 - 11:48 am

    Congratulations!! And many, many more years of happiness! You are deserving of the best life has to offer.

  6. #6 by Cyndia on May 14, 2012 - 11:54 am

    So happy for you! Blessed be to both of you!

  7. #7 by Mary Ellen Brennan on May 14, 2012 - 12:09 pm

    What a lovely couple! Congratulations on your marriage, wishing you many years of happiness

  8. #8 by Alex on May 14, 2012 - 12:11 pm

    Congratulations! May you live long and prosper!

  9. #9 by Jackie on May 14, 2012 - 12:35 pm

    This is such a well written story and blog post. My heart soared for you. Thank you for sharing. How fortunate you found each other.
    May you both find peace and happiness that comes when you can adventure out from a home base founded on unquestionable love.

  10. #10 by Barbara on May 14, 2012 - 12:43 pm

    Congratulations and all sorts of wonderful wishes to you and Jody! I enjoyed the post—words and photos.

  11. #11 by Carol Wyatt on May 14, 2012 - 12:49 pm

    Alice, I am soooo happy for you two! I send you my congratulations and wishes for a long and happy life together.

  12. #12 by Flubber on May 14, 2012 - 1:03 pm

    Very cockle warming.

  13. #13 by Amanda on May 14, 2012 - 1:04 pm

    I love this. I am so happy for you both and I will keep fighting the good fight for true equality.

  14. #14 by Walter on May 14, 2012 - 1:33 pm

    Congrats to both of you. Looking forward to this weekend.

  15. #15 by Alyce on May 14, 2012 - 1:46 pm

    Congratulations! Hope you are continuing to bask in the glow of newlywed bliss!

  16. #16 by Kathy on May 14, 2012 - 1:46 pm

    Alice, You are such a wonderful writer. I could really feel the love and the happiness flowing through your words. I am so happy for you and Jody ! Blessings on a lifetime of happiness!

  17. #17 by Elizabeth on May 14, 2012 - 1:47 pm

    i can’t wait til it’s legal in alabama. i hope to perform many same-sex weddings!

  18. #18 by Norma on May 14, 2012 - 1:47 pm

    Equality in love is so very important! Please support open minded candidates!

  19. #19 by Cindy on May 14, 2012 - 1:48 pm

    Congratulations to Alice on her marriage! My fervent wish is that anyone who wants be able to experience this type of commitment and joy.

  20. #20 by Laurie on May 14, 2012 - 1:49 pm

    Congratulations to you both! So glad you could make your union official!

  21. #21 by Traci Ford (@GSand1804) on May 14, 2012 - 2:07 pm

    Congrats to you both. It’s interesting. I just read a blog about the blessedness of being single and commenting that I love being single. Then I read this and I think I’d like to know, sometime before I shed the mortal whats-its, what it’s like to be married. Have cake and eat it, too?

  22. #22 by Chelsea on May 14, 2012 - 2:18 pm

    This is a story I hope to be able to share one day. Thanks, Alice!

  23. #23 by Michelle on May 14, 2012 - 3:16 pm

    Congratulations! So happy for both of you

  24. #24 by Patria on May 14, 2012 - 3:16 pm

    Congratulations and best wishes! Wishing you all the joy your lives can hold!

  25. #25 by Robert on May 14, 2012 - 3:17 pm

    Wow, new world slowly dawning.

  26. #26 by Meghan on May 14, 2012 - 3:30 pm

    How wonderful! Thank you for sharing something so positive!

  27. #27 by Carol on May 14, 2012 - 3:54 pm

    Hooray! I love this for you both and so happy too! You both deserve forever happiness and a life of love and peace.

  28. #28 by Pam on May 14, 2012 - 4:34 pm

    Congratulations and thank you for sharing this!

  29. #29 by Naomi on May 14, 2012 - 4:34 pm

    Awesome!!! Congratulations !!

  30. #30 by Shanna on May 14, 2012 - 4:35 pm

    Congratulations!!!

  31. #31 by Emanuel on May 14, 2012 - 4:35 pm

    Congrats.

  32. #32 by Shari on May 14, 2012 - 5:15 pm

    Heck, yeah!

  33. #33 by Clare Flourish on May 14, 2012 - 5:31 pm

    Congratulations. Stories like this will eventually melt the heart, even, of Mitt Romney- though only after a majority of his voters agree.

    What’s not to like? we say. Er, Bible- sin- disgusting- not judging, oh no, we don’t do that- they say. But- What’s not to like?

  34. #34 by Kim Mytelka on May 14, 2012 - 5:48 pm

    Sending so much love to you both! I really wish I could be with you in person for the next step – but I will definitely be thinking about you and wishing you an eternity together filled with love, joy, good health, and wonderful family.

    • #35 by Alice Melott on May 14, 2012 - 5:56 pm

      Have the BEST trip, Kim, and we’ll talk when you get back! Love you.

  35. #36 by Crystal on May 14, 2012 - 5:51 pm

    ok, no fair! you made me cry…i’m so happy for you!!!

  36. #37 by Ramiro on May 14, 2012 - 9:14 pm

    Congratulations to you both. My partner of 36 years and I look forward to marriage some day very soon too. I’m so happy for you.

  37. #38 by Larissa on May 15, 2012 - 12:41 pm

    Congratulations to you both!

  38. #39 by Winter Huff on May 18, 2012 - 5:08 pm

    Congratulations and Best Wishes! Jody, welcome to the family. Jim and I will celebrate 25 years of wedded bliss (mostly!) in August, and it is indeed a blessing to have someone you love, like, and trust to grow old with.

  1. Pulling the plug on haters | Alice's Adventures Above Ground

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